when i was at school, i was taught (held taught - tightened - not allowed to be free) each day, 4 years after my birth, by a female who was aged and who, i now see, was chosen to be in that role because of her fierce determination to control. there were beliefs that 'the nature of man(y) should be controlled' (perpetuated by those who seek to dominate).
each time i desired to move from my tiny, hard, wooden chair i was shouted at. conditioned not to move freely, not even to go to the bathroom. only to move when 'allowed' to move.
nearly every week day for 12 years.
i developed a variety of diseases - allergies; responses internally to imbalances caused by incorrect beliefs such as 'if i move as my feelings need i will be attacked/shouted at and that means i will not get a good mark and i will be bad and will get into trouble'.
the entire schooling 'system' that i have encountered is built upon that which is not loving - denial, judgement and guilt. masquerading as 'intelligent' - it is not intelligent, it is enslaving.
moving from one room where the virtues of god and religion are taught (to one (me) who never asked for it) and then to another room to be showed a video designed to protect me from pedophiles by stating that 'my body is my body and nobody elses' - then back to another room where i am told that the needs of my body have to be superceded by a 'teachers' direction or i am 'bad'.
the unifying constant here is denial of the will and thus the creation of guilt.
just thinking that you are bad for feeling angry is enough to shut you down. your anger is not wrong or bad; the misunderstandings about why we are as we are have led to immense suffering projected as being helpful. the language reflects the patterns too.
we 'copy', often to learn.
wh(y) are we copying?
often we copy others as we attempt to cope with their dysfunction by taking on their patterns to attempt to learn why they do it; then get the patterns imprinted into us without realising we need to release them.
even the idea of 'coping' is sold as 'good' - coping is not 'good' - coping means we are comprimising instead of changing the core issues. this is living with circumstances instead of changing circumstances - avoidance in place of truth and power.
the 'lesson' in this is that we do not need to be LESS ON.. we need to be FULLY ON.