in moments of torment we may 'agree'/'decide'/'create the viewpoint/opinion/intention' internally that we need to change our reality in specific ways to attempt to make up for what we do not have or to somehow motivate the change we really do need in our lives. often our ideas about our needed changes are missing important details/truths in their construction and this can lead us to mistakenly think we need to change something, that - in truth - is not the change we truly need and require. as a further effect of this imbalanced inner state, our own 'character'/'persona' begins to develop in a particular way which includes these false desires unconsciously; we may then judge the desires as wrong for some reason, yet retain attachment to their fulfilment unconsciously or sub-consciously.
this is one of the major roots of suffering at this timing; we may live entire lives or multiple lives with the mistaken belief that, for example, 'i need to be the best at something'.. 'why is that?'.. 'to get noticed'.. 'why do i need to get noticed?'.. 'i've been hurt from being ignored and i don't want that to happen again'..
and the realisation: "oh, seeking to be labelled the 'best' at something still requires the acceptance and agreement of others, as without the agreement of 'others', i am just talking to me, saying i am the best or i am not the best... so there is not really a benefit to 'being the best' in terms of stopping others ignoring me; i will be ignored anyway by those with intent to ignore me.. so really this has been me ignoring me all along, ignoring my power, ignoring aspects of truth and the causes of why i am as i am and why i experience what i experience."
as all-ways, we return to the need for holistic oneness and the the unity of self acceptance; plus we are one alignment closer to healing our disconnections within us and are reaching closer to the parts that are hurting that we can now sooth and bathe with loving heart and loving light's acceptance. it is our own love for our own being that is most needed within us and what is most lacking in the majority of us, since we are taught from birth to assume that 'loving yourself' is a sign of 'having ego' and is 'wrong' - whereas the truth is that we ALL have ego or we would not exist as individual beings and that it is imbalances in the ego that are the problem with our egos. it is through self love that we can heal and balance our egos and so to think that self love is 'wrong' is an extremely harmful and limiting belief to be holding on to.
additionally, the common belief and agreement that 'money is needed' adds to our discomfort as long as we intend to maintain reliance on it; since our living needs continue to appear to be beyond our ability to fulfil them unless we further go against our true desires and 'do a job we don't really want to do' in the pursuit of 'being the best' to gain acceptance from others (that mostly never comes).
we need to heal our inside and the outside evolves in response; not the other way around.
you cannot truly buy glowing balance for your body, nor buy love.
you can love you and be balanced and happy.