often parents here can be seen and felt to be controlling their 'children' and essentially mind controlling them and programming them with behaviors via a variety of dysfunction causing methods. these can include 'reward/punishment' devices that often include blaming that causes guilt and other similarly heartless devices to attempt to pressure for conformity. the result of this is mass conformity and beings who are effectively being 'bread to become slaves' or 'zombie-like'.
often the motivations for this are labelled as 'politeness' or 'love' or 'safety', yet this type of control achieves none of these.
every time a parent uses chocolate or some type hormonally stimulating material as a 'reward' and every time they use a slap or enforce an arbitrary rule of where and when the child can express their essential drive to move their body (their will), a dissonance and conflict is created and a loss of love and integrity occurs. fundamentally, this means that a loss of love and integrity has already occurred since these choices would not be made if unconditional love and full integrity were present in the parents.
in exploring the causes and origins of these patterns, a common intuition is received: that the parents are unconsciously enforcing these controls without thinking about why they are doing it with enough clarity to choose more wisely. very often they are doing this 'because they did it to me', meaning 'because my parents did this to me and i am holding an angry desire for revenge that was never expressed; now i will pass that on to my children' because this angry revenge is certain that 'they must know what i went through' without noticing that the child is not the one that caused them to suffer and that passing on this dysfunction is only going to continue the cycle - the revenge is not conscious enough to evolve and change and for this dysfunction to heal.
intent to heal and end denial is necessary to know the truth of this and this must be felt to be known to be true.
releasing all internal pressure, mentally generated or otherwise, upon self to control the expression of the emotions is necessary to allow the rage to move and express so that these patterns can evolve. once healing begins, true heart connection can be established between all involved and mental / vocal words, rules and patterns can be replaced with a more emotion based, heart centered feeling approach to connecting and communication that does not deny the true needs and causes of desires. this will quickly lead to an evolution of inter-relationships and ending of many dysfunctions and rapid healing of many issues - many that were not even recognised previously.